Calgon Moments

Is Your Husband Cheating? 4 Ways to Tell if He’s Lying

2011-12-10T13:22:00.000-08:00

Is Your Husband Cheating? 4 Ways to Tell if He’s Lying

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What is a Healthy Relationship? 5 Signs of Real Love

2011-12-10T13:12:00.000-08:00

What is a Healthy Relationship? 5 Signs of Real Love

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Hippie liberal Momma: I Don't Want To Live On This Planet Anymore

2011-12-10T12:20:00.000-08:00

I dig this blog and I thought you might too. Check her out.

Hippie liberal Momma: I Don't Want To Live On This Planet Anymore

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Co-Dependence and passive aggressive behavior AKA marriage

2011-12-04T03:08:00.000-08:00

I held out a LONG time before getting married and never actually planned to do it. For a woman, 40 is a long time to wait and most people think you're a lesbian, a crazy cat lady or clinically insane if you aren't married before 25. To those who think that, I bid you a fond fuck you!

I've always been independent not only because it's in my nature but because depending on others always leaves me disappointed and livid which leads me to telling someone exactly what I think of them and NOBODY can handle the truth. Brutal honesty is not a policy, it's a personality trait. I'm the most loyal and dependable friend you will ever have if you earn my friendship. I expect the same in kind. Bring your "A" game or go home. Thus, another reason for my self-imposed singularity. As all women know, men are all equally worthless. Sure, some of them are tolerable but we don't NEED them. They are going the way of the 8 track and they don't even realize it.

Growing up I never saw ONE happy, successful marriage. Now that I'm an adult, I still haven't seen one and I'm definitely not in one. I'm not at fault in my own. For once, I can honestly say I have done everything humanly possible to get along with an insane person. When someone abuses you physically, mentally and emotionally there's no hope of success.

Yes, there's a difference between mental and emotional abuse. There's the mind fuck, a classic and sometimes effective tactic. Then there's toying with one's emotions (if only you did _______, I would love you more, etc.).

Luckily, my parents were the two most ill matched co-dependent crazy people in existence so much of this doesn't phase me and I'm able to function.

However, when your "partner" is constantly sabotaging your livelihood and finances, it's impossible to even keep your children in a safe environment then it's time to come up with an escape strategy.

Abusers work by isolation. Don't ever forget that you have options. You don't have to live your life in fear or shame. It's NOT YOU, it's HIM! He is a coward and controls through fear and intimidation. Secrecy is his power. Let someone know what is going on in case something happens to you. Keep a hidden journal in a safety deposit box or a secret blog.

I mostly write these musings for myself to remember events or document events because my sister stole all my journals which I started as a child to pass onto my children. I thought this may be a way to save some new things for them.

If this helps anyone out there in cyber land, even better. Hang in there ladies, don't lose hope and don't lose yourself! You are loved! You have to love yourself first! You know that. Don't let some loser beat you down!

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Cautiously optimistic

2011-09-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

All that optimism was wasted. The baby died. I had to have life saving surgery. It was horrible. Each time times happens a part of me dies. On 9/13/11 at approximately 5:33 p.m., I stared into the results window of a positive pregnancy test in disbelief. Both lines were dark purple after 1 drop! I had a passing thought that I may be pregnant after being unreasonably angry for a few weeks but perished the thought since I wasn't trying to get pregnant and I've had a difficult time getting pregnant then staying pregnant. I've had 2 high risk pregnancies and 2 miscarriages in the last couple of years, I'm over 40 and had gestational diabetes last time. My first thought was can my body handle this again so soon, I have a 13 month old daughter. Then I worried about the health of this baby, finances and everything imaginable. I had just been discussing going back to work. Our family is looking for a new home and I'm busy with a toddler and a teenager. I don't mean to seem ungrateful, after all I've been through, I really feel like babies are a gift and I love my children with all my heart.

I'm not making any plans just yet because I don't know how this will turn out. Going to the Dr. tomorrow for some blood work to see if this pregnancy is progressing properly. Hopefully, my first official doctor appointment will be on October 3. My due date is on my birthday which is interesting since I already share my birthday with my sister and we no longer have a relationship due to her evil ways. I have no preference on the sex of this baby, I just hope it's healthy.

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Technology Overload

2011-08-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to panic over things I love disappearing. I have a one year old who will never know what it was like to do so many things I've known and cherished. Schools are no longer teaching cursive handwriting! That just pisses me off to no end because it's beyond stupidity. People are becoming totally dependent on technology and don't posses basic knowledge of important things like how to write a letter, how to look up research information in a library rather than just looking on the Internet. Sometimes I feel we're losing a bit of our humanity and that's not good. It's important to have a balance of high tech and low tech in every way. This may seem hypocritical since I'm blogging it but I'm only doing this to preserve some thoughts. My journals were stolen. I had kept them for decades for my kids if they wanted them and for me to look back on my life.

One of the things I really enjoy is doing genealogy and the old census rolls because the script writing is beautiful. My teenager has beautiful writing but he hates to write and prefers a keyboard to a pencil any day. Getting him to write anything down on paper is a battle of wills. Homework is a battlefield and this has been going on since kindergarten. Don't get me started on spelling. I am livid about the amount of illiterate people on FB & other sites who don't know how to express themselves in writing. It's appalling.

I love to write and I think writing with pen and paper helps me organize my thoughts better than typing on a computer. I remember before computers when typing on a typewriter at work was a chore, especially if your job didn't provide one w/correction on it. I miss typewriters and still have one. I want more. It disturbs me more than a little that my child is not interested in writing anymore. I had hoped he would keep a journal so he could enjoy it when he was older and save it for his kids. ADHD is a factor but I also have it and had to adapt and had no choice when I was a kid. Hell, they didn't even have a name for it then. People just loaded me up with sugar and accused me of being hyper or a smart ass.

Are we all raising a bunch of high tech brats who don't know how to relate to people? I hope not but that's how I'm feeling lately. Rather than playing guitar as I have suggested for years, my kid mastered Guitar Hero in about two days. Now he wants to play guitar for more of a challenge. The kid has been using a computer since he was about two years old. I encouraged it then teachers bitched when he "monopolized the class computer". Don't get me started on the school system and it's dumbed down mediocrity. Let's just say I'm not upset over any teachers losing their jobs. When I taught school I never worked with more lazy, apathetic people than school teachers and they ALL hated kids but me! You won't find a more toxic snake pit than a teacher's lounge in any American school. You don't have to have a degree to teach now and look at how many teachers are sleeping with their students. I'm profoundly disgusted. Check out how teacher's unions protect bad teachers.

Look at books. I love books, I love to read and there's nothing like sitting down and reading a book on a rainy day. The same thing goes for reading a book at the beach or by the pool. E-books are taking over and that makes me melancholy. I have some electronic books but I don't read them. I got them in case I was stuck somewhere without a book.

My child has NEVER SEEN OR OPERATED A ROTARY DIAL TELEPHONE!!! HE HAS NEVER SEEN OR OWNED A BLACK AND WHITE TV OR A TV WITHOUT A REMOTE CONTROL! When I was a kid I WAS the remote control! He has never known the frustration and simplicity of no cable and only 5 channels on TV. Cartoons only came on TV Saturday mornings and Sunday morning there was church, wrestling or Tarzan movies. Limited technology really changes your perception of the world for good and bad depending on the person.

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R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

2011-07-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

After midnight I learned about the untimely death of songbird Amy Winehouse. I was a huge fan of hers and hoped that she would kick her drug addiction and provide the soundtrack to my life for decades to come. I was thinking how sad it is that one day after she was found dead that E! preempted the Kardashians to show the E! True Hollywood Story of Amy Winehouse. Like it really pains them to preempt this show full of no talent bimbos for someone truly talented. I watch the Kardashian shows mostly to mock them.

I'm not impressed by entertainers of any sort and mostly relegate them to court jesters to entertain me. The first time I heard rehab I was blown away. The song was totally addictive. I thought she was black before I saw her and I loved her voice. So original and her voice is one of those that makes you wish you could sing like she did. She was both retro and cutting edge rolled into one. Such an attractive combo. I guess she was having problems before fame reared it's ugly head. Nobody gives her credit for being a singer-songwriter. She became a joke which is bullshit. People love to pick apart someone who is talented and rip them to shreds. Think about how you would like some asshole w/a camera following you around documenting your downward spiral to death?

I just know that "Fade to Black" was my soundtrack when I lived in Vegas and "You know I'm no good" was on repeat for about 3-1/2 years much to the chagrin of family and friends. My teenage son hid the CD from me and he was in cahoots with my husband on that score. It miraculously reemerged when his xbox live was deactivated. Funny how that works.

Today I'm listening to her music and thinking about her life and all the things she could have accomplished had she beaten her drug addiction. It makes my heart hurt. It's the same sadness I feel when listening to Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin. Twenty Seven is such a tender age and you still have your whole life ahead of you. At twenty-seven I had my first baby. I was still full of piss and vinegar and thought I would conquer the world. I wonder if she would have lived longer had she not become famous at such a young age. I wonder a million different things that I will never get any answers to and that saddens me.

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Hippie liberal Momma: Ron Paul's Brain Is a Dirty Diaper

2011-07-22T21:06:00.000-07:00

Hippie liberal Momma: Ron Paul's Brain Is a Dirty Diaper: "It's not always full of shit, but it stinks and nothing has came out of it that made me want to vote for him. Yesterday I went to go hou..."

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Hippie liberal Momma: TX New Sonogram Bill

2011-07-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

Hippie liberal Momma: TX New Sonogram Bill: "Today Rick Perry signed into Law the new sonogram bill. A lot of people have been asking questions about this so I thought I would post a gr..."

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Hippie liberal Momma: Boobies through time!

2011-07-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hippie liberal Momma: Boobies through time!

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Hippie liberal Momma: Woman removed from history or San Jacinto day.

2011-07-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

Hippie liberal Momma: Woman removed from history or San Jacinto day.: "I am pissed. I know shocker huh? Anyways Today is San Jacinto day here in TX. The battle everyone is so proud of where Texas ran screaming..."

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Hippie liberal Momma: Before You Talk About Old White Men

2011-07-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

Hippie liberal Momma: Before You Talk About Old White Men: "Before you talk about about old white men remember ALL racism is nasty and hurtful. ALL sexism is nasty and hurtful. ALL ageism is nasty an..."

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Hippie liberal Momma: The great Vagina

2011-07-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

Hippie liberal Momma: The great Vagina: "Now for a topic that does not get talked about nearly enough! I never leave home with out it! CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO OPEN IN NEW WIND..."

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Hippie liberal Momma: Go the fuck to sleep

2011-07-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

Hippie liberal Momma: Go the fuck to sleep: "Ok for those of you who haven’t heard there is this cute little book. I thought it was a funny parent joke. Again I over estimated people. ..."

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1 year

2011-07-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

In a couple of weeks my daughter will be one year old. This year just flew by and so many amazing milestones have been surpassed. From reading that you would think this is my first baby. It's not, I have a teenage son as well. Both my children are very smart and they are both precious to me. I hope I am successful in letting them know every moment how much they are cherished and adored.

When I look at them I think of carrying them inside my body so worried about them and excited to meet them. I see them being born and looking at them for the very first time. Their first cries, first smiles, first words are all my most priceless treasures. The first year goes by too fast! I tried to savor it with both of them but I think I could have done better.

This year involved joy and pain in abundance. On May 31, 2011, I went to the Dr. to confirm a pregnancy just after I had gotten used to the idea of having another baby and I had a miscarriage. This was the second one since 2008. I love children and never thought I'd have more than one. I don't know how I cope with the loss. I suppose the kids keep me too busy to dwell on it. Maybe I'm able to compartmentalize it. Maybe my heart has been shattered so many times that I've grown accustomed to pain.

I try to stay positive but it's difficult. I celebrate my children's birthdays and mourn the due dates of the babies I lost. I've lost all the worldly possessions one can lose and it didn't kill me. Losing my children would kill me. I'm so thankful that I have two beautiful, intelligent and funny people to raise and enrich my life. I just hope they always love me back.

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Ludic Despair: Go Charlie(s) Go!

2011-03-02T00:40:00.000-08:00

Good time Charlie: www.livethesheendream.com

Ludic Despair: Go Charlie(s) Go!: "@font-face { font-family: 'Cambria'; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: ..."

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Ludic Despair: Panic Barbie

2011-03-02T00:38:00.000-08:00

Ludic Despair: Panic Barbie: "Fellow Patriarchs, As I'm sure most of you are aware, the Mattel Corporation has recently issued a new Barbie doll--just in time for the C..."

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Pilot Varsity Pens and other fetishes

2010-11-30T16:40:00.000-08:00

I've had a lifelong love of pens and writing. As a child I had two escapes from the turmoil in my household, reading and writing. Keeping a diary as a child and a journal as an adult helped make sense of my life. When my Mother threw away all my belongings it was the pens and journals that I missed most. It was like erasing my existence. Mommie Dearest has always had serious control issues to make a huge understatement.

As a child the most exciting part of the new school year for me was getting new school supplies and notebooks to write stories on. I was a model student and daughter yet when my teachers praised me, my Mother would tell them that I was the opposite at home-one of millions of lies and character assassination of the decades. My journals were a way of setting the record straight. I also intended to leave them to my children or possibly publish them if anyone was interested.

My favorite pen to express myself is the Pilot Varsity Pen. It's a disposable fountain pen! They come in seven colors and every time I have ever seen one I HAD to buy one. It's a compulsion much like in the movie "Conspiracy Theory" where Mel Gibson keeps buying the book "The Catcher in the Rye." I feel a rush then at ease when I make my purchase. I used to think it was a shopping compulsion but it has a deeper meaning. I was never able to verbally express my feelings or defend myself to my mother so writing them down was a release.

As a result I had acquired hundreds of pens, maybe a thousand. I like unusual pens and notebooks, things with character. I feel like my thoughts and feelings are important, even if my parents and siblings don't think so. I'm not interested in what they think.

I had a diary from one of my Grandma Grace's mother's sisters, Ruby Randall and it was from 1912 to about 1935 and I was really interested in reading it. I thought that perhaps someday when I'm dead, someone would be interested in reading about my lifetime. They took that away from me along with all my other worldly possessions. I haven't done anything to be on the receiving end of such ugliness.

I can rewrite history if I can just find some new Pilot Varsity Fountain Pens.

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Mason finally gets a sibling!

2010-09-25T23:19:00.000-07:00

Since my son could frame a complete sentence he has been asking for a sibling, mostly for a brother until in a state of frustration he even claimed a sister would be fine. I never thought I'd have another child for various reasons the main one being that I had not been in a relationship for years and had no desire to have one. For most of my life I've been accused of being, "Too damn independent." I thought my son was perfect and having another child would be a disappointment because it would be a lesser model. I could think up a million reasons not to have anymore kids and I did. I took it for granted that I could have a baby any time I wanted to and I had plenty of time. I wanted a girl but I didn't want the drama and I wanted a boy because they are easier by all accounts. I'm a type A personality, I wanted everything to be perfect before I had another child. We all know nothing is perfect and striving for perfection is exhausting!

Well, I couldn't and I didn't have a baby any time I wanted. Now I am what doctors call "Of Advanced Maternal Age" yet people mistake me for being 20 years younger on a daily basis. Where did the time go? I have so much to do and so much to see and learn. I read that people who have kids after age 40 live to be 100 more often than those who have kids in their 20's. Nearly everyone I know had kids by age 22 and has been married previous to that if they are still married. I've always been out of sync with my peer group. I'm a maverick.

Flash forward, these kids are rich in personality. The new one is feisty, she lets us know EXACTLY what she doesn't like. Mason was calm and quiet, she's a firecracker. From the moment she was born she was crying and waving her arms over her head and alert. Most newborns stare and drool. This baby was holding her head up in the hospital, trying to stand up when we held her and mimicking our words. Everyone was surprised but me. This child had nurses propping her up to sleep in the nursery. Even the doctor stopped during surgery to tell me she was a beautiful baby! This infant, this tiny person is already bending adults to her will and having a profound effect on everyone who comes within her realm. It's going to be a bumpy ride. My babies are beautiful AND smart.

Mason loves his sister and is a great big brother. I knew he would be. One day in the doctor's office he spent over an hour watching a newborn and Mother without peeling his eyes away once. He was fascinated and scared and excited all at once. He had a million questions. It was at that moment he realized it was for real. We all tried not to get too excited due to a previous miscarriage but we all wanted her to arrive happy and healthy. Now we all want her to stop crying and it's a team effort to soothe her majesty.

My babies on Twitpic

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Boy tames goat!

2010-09-25T22:44:00.000-07:00

I love this picture of my son as a toddler petting this goat! I don't even think he was two years old yet. He could run and catch a chicken scooping it up with his bare hands as he ran by, speak in sentences with correct grammar and potty trained himself at 13 months old! His Montessori teacher bitched about it for a week then gave up and told me she had to potty train the entire class because all the other kids were following him to the bathroom! She was livid. I still think all those parents should pay me for early potty training. Can you think of a better gift for the parents of a toddler?

At the time he was also telling me that, "The angels saved my life when I was born. They were at the hospital talking to me." Then he proceeded to tell me that I had been his mother many times and asked me if I remembered when we lived in New Orleans and had French doors in our house or when we lived at the beach. He told me he had been watching me my entire life waiting for me to be his Mom. He said he picked me to be his Mom over and over. He got extremely angry when I said I didn't remember being his Mom before and he talked about it constantly for months then poof, it was gone and he stopped mentioning it. I had it on video but my crazy sister stole it along with all my other worldly possessions and that has reserved a special place in hell for her. It wouldn't be much different than her life now as a 38 year old spinster living with her mother and 32 year old unemployed brother. I can't believe I'm really related to those people.

Children are amazing and beautiful and I love them. Especially the ones I made.

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Newborn News

2010-09-22T15:22:00.000-07:00

Having this baby was much easier than having my son. I wish I had a C-Section with him from the same doctor that delivered his sister. Our lives would have been different and he would have had siblings (plural) sooner. Delivering my son caused me such trauma that I was celibant for five years! Fear of delivery was present the entire pregnancy as was fear of miscarriage.

Gestational Diabetes was horrible! I felt angry and sleepy all the time. Now I know what both sides of Diabetes feel like. When Diabetics act insane it's because they feel insane due to high blood sugar. I hope I never have to deal with it again. I understand my Father's moods better now and realize his fits were high blood sugar, however that doesn't change the pain he inflicted on us. I have others in my life who also have those types of fits and say horrible things to loved ones that make us wonder if we are loved.

Adjusting to a newborn takes time. This baby is much more active and irritable than the first. She was holding up her head in the hospital. She looked alert from the first moments of her life. She's definitely going to be a little chatter box and a total busy body. She's beautiful and I love her. She's healthy and perfect. She's all that I hoped for and more.

I'm not just proud of her and saying she's beautiful. The doctor stopped in the middle of surgery to tell me, Mom, I don't usually say this but this is a really beautiful baby! All the nurses raved about her beauty and gave her special treatment in the nursery. They propped her up to sleep and the nurse told me she saved the best blankets for her.

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Delivery Day is here!

2010-08-06T02:57:00.000-07:00

I'm preparing to go to the hospital to have my baby! I haven't been nervous at all up until this second. I've been calm, I've rested, I made a belly cast w/my husband and sister, dined on escargot, crawfish etouffe and fried crawfish (then vomited), took a leisurely bath then played cafe world and conversed with friends on facebook.

Now when I'm about to leave I'm getting nervous. I'm starving and want some iced tea. Time to get dressed and do this mommy thang part deux.

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36 weeks pregnant

2010-07-11T22:40:00.000-07:00

Now that this pregnancy is near the end, I hate for it to end. Pregnancy is the only time I can truly protect my child from the outside world. It's strange that I never dream about this baby at all. I only had one dream about this baby being a boy w/legs so long that they wrapped around me when he was breastfeeding. They keep telling me the baby is a girl so it makes my dream even more strange.

I hate having to do everything. It was frustrating when I was single but now that I'm married to someone who refuses to act like an adult, it's depressing and we're on the verge of homelessness. I have NONE of the benefits of being married. I don't have an equal partner, I have another child. I will wind up having to work to support this child and never get to see it either. I think this dead beat is about to leave me as soon as I have this child if not before. The main reason I stayed single most of my life is to avoid winding up in a situation like this. He had 4 jobs when I met him and worked 7 days a week. Now he refuses to work. He got fired deliberately from two jobs. He has used and abused me and this is the most dependable person in my life. I deserve so much more than this. This is exactly the example I didn't want my son to see. My father set out to avoid working his entire life and has never been anything but a source of shame.

I have nothing for a baby. Not even clothes, diapers or a car seat. This is humiliating for me. He is totally unconcerned. I have no friends or family who are interested or concerned about me in any form or fashion. Nobody has offered to throw me a baby shower or give me any baby gear. Everyone begged me to move back to this hellhole with promises of help and have not delivered on any promise. My life is like a waking nightmare. People constantly kick me when I'm down. Nobody loves me or even cares about me. I'm lonely.

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Flickr

2010-06-13T17:36:00.001-07:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Flickr

2010-06-13T16:33:00.001-07:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Chaos at a breakneck pace

2010-03-10T17:56:00.000-08:00

Just two days after I had an ultrasound and was told my due date is 8/8/2010 instead of 8/17/2010, my son had another seizure/fainting episode. Called his pediatrician, went to her office, was sent to hospital. No other children in waiting room and my son was forced to sit in wheelchair vomiting and soiling himself for over 4 hours. The refusal of staff to offer him any medical treatment despite excellent insurance and his personal doctor calling ahead to preadmit him caused an Aurora Greenway moment on my part and my husband to scare the living shit out of the RN at desk and security guard who was moments from retirement. Husband was handcuffed and told to calm down-something I've never seen them do to a white man. Pointing that out raised my popularity points with staff. Fuck 'em. I couldn't believe these bastards are not on the news every night for failure to provide medical care to children. If my child was able to stay conscious, I would have taken him elsewhere. He had literally been vomiting a soiling himself for so long that we were worried he might die. We arrived at 4 pm and he was not taken into a "room" in emergency until nearly 9 pm. At that time he vomited all over two nurses who were incredible cunts. Good Boy! Then they took him seriously. The story gets worse and worse and I don't want to work myself up to a Charles Whitman frenzy. Word of advice: NEVER take your child to Texas Children's Hospital. They kept my kid for an entire week. Staff is rude and unprofessional and negligent. It's now a teaching hospital so you have to talk to at least 3 different snot nosed Residents who couldn't wipe their own asses without a virutal program and video explaining it.

I watched them FORCE a woman w/a foster child (3weeks old) into giving him a spinal tap (lumbar puncture) and hospitalizing him for 3 days when she repeatedly told them the child didn't have fever! They KNEW I was pregnant and let me sit next to a possibly contagious child! The first kid who shared a room with us was transferred from another hospital with a burst appendix! The had film of this kid showing he had abscesses! They debated for hours if they would perform surgery or just insert tubes to drain the poison from his body! They refused to give him pain meds or antibiotics!

I'll have to finish later,reliving this horrifying experience just brings on PTSD.

My "family" really gave us the finger on this as well. Nobody called or visited my son. They refused to answer their phones. There's really a special place in hell for these people. We're stranded at the hospital for an entire week devoid of cash since it was an unexpected visit. Racking up outrageous parking fees daily when my step mother works for TMC parking and gave me parking passes when my brother was hospitalized for months.

Keep in mind that I have taken care of all these assholes for years. I went out of town and they broke in my home like a pack of jackals and stole EVERYTHING I WORKED AND PAID FOR!!

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All knocked up and no doctor to go to!

2010-02-25T15:45:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I had the great pleasure of taking my son to the hospital for an Echocardiogram. He had a seizure on 2/13 and this is their idea of getting to the heart of the matter. I have a low tolerance for stupidity. Therefore I'm always pissed off. After dropping my kid off at the door of the hospital and driving several miles down Fannin before I could legally take a left, I found a parking garage that wasn't full and parked then walked a mile to the hospital. I hate this town. His test took about 30 minutes. His heart beats faster than normal but not to the point of disease according to the technician. Whatever.

Next my husband practically forced me to go to the ER just to be sure my pregnancy pains and Migraine didn't mean we are having a cyclops. They performed an ultrasound but refused to give me any pictures and the tech only gave me one quick peek at my future offspring. I didn't care at that point because I'd already been given Morphine and Fenergan for my Migraine. However, her refusal to let my husband and son watch infuriated me. She informed me that I'm 16 weeks pregnant NOT 14 weeks. That changes my due date from 8/17/2010 to 8/8/2010 just one day shy of my loser brother Randy's birthday. No way am I having this kid on 8/9! I'll cross my legs and duct tape myself if necessary. It makes my stomach churn just thinking about it.

I CANNOT find any doctor who will take me as a patient. Be wary of telling any OB/GYN that you are high risk because you will hear a plethora of creative excuses as to why they can't accept you as a patient. I guess I'll be having this baby in a bathtub or alley somewhere. I never thought I would have this problem.

Make a pregnancy ticker

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Slide show

2010-01-09T13:44:00.000-08:00

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Midlife Pregnancy Digest

2010-01-09T07:40:00.000-08:00

So far so good this week. No vomiting episodes, no uncontrollable food cravings for dirt or metal, nothing strange which is strange for me. Just exhaustion and sleeping like a mama bear in hibernation. The 15-20 weather in TX is a rarity but the weather here sucks 24/7 365. Question my decision to move back every second of every day.

My stomach is huge, my balding sister told me that, "Your stomach wasn't that big when you were 9 months pregnant last time. Maybe it's because you're fatter now!" I keep having a feeling of certainty about having twins which disturbs me and doesn't phase me at all. I'm trying to maintain a sense of zen/calm/catatonia to keep me from losing it and spending my days chewing on checkers in a mental ward while wearing my flannel Sesame Street pajamas.

I've never had a pregnancy this normal which is good. I'm just trying to remain detached in case I lose this child like I did the last one. It's a self-defense mechanism. I can't really picture having the child yet so I can't picture losing it yet. I'm in limbo.

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Movie Madness

Pregnant @ 40!?!

2009-12-15T01:34:00.000-08:00

I found out on 12/9/09 via 4 home pregnancy tests that I'm pregnant. I'm still in shock because I had a traumatic miscarriage last year on 12/5/08. My husband and I had been trying to have a baby for an entire year. I had given up hoping for another child and accepted the fact that we would never have a child together. In Vegas, while at the ER for a migraine, a med student suggested I take Tagamet to reduce my testosterone levels and maybe that would help me get pregnant. Probably the end of October or beginning of November 1 started taking Tagamet and less than a month later, I'm pregnant! It's nothing short of miraculous to me.

The weeks of waiting to find out if this pregnancy is viable will be agony. I'm happy but also in a daze. I don't want to get too attached in case I have another miscarriage. I'm eating right and resting since this is a high risk pregnancy. I never felt this good the last two times I was pregnant so I hope that's a good sign.

Normally I keep a journal but all my journals were stolen by my "family" so I feel the need to document electronically for my baby. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

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Movie Madness

Stickers R US, LTD., 14820 Woodforest Blvd., Channelview, TX 77530

2009-11-18T22:15:00.001-08:00

NEVER TAKE YOUR CAR HERE!!!! I made the colossal mistake of taking my car to Stickers R US to get an inspection sticker and a teenaged idiot damaged my car pulling parts off! He was at it over an hour under my hood then told me I needed new bulbs. He put the bulbs in WRONG and then told me my car wouldn't pass inspection!

I had just spent $400 on my car before a cross country trip and had no problems until I pulled into this shack! This place is managed and owned by white trash cousin fucking retards! I spoke to the so called manager who exclaimed through a partial set of teeth, "We ain't responsible for damages. Your car was broke when you brought it in!" Then she told me to get out of her shop. Nice!

I never see any customers outside. I think this place may be a storefront for a meth lab. Definitely shady activities going on here.

pictures

2009-09-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

I used to be the ultimate shutterbug. My friends hated taking pictures. I've grown tired of it but here are some photos I found. I lost all my pictures in a move and hope to retrieve them.

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Movie Madness

WakeUpWalMart.com Video: Common Sense Economics

2009-09-03T06:30:00.001-07:00

WakeUpWalMart.com Video: Common Sense Economics

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Full List - 50 Best Websites 2009 - TIME

2009-08-28T06:52:00.001-07:00

Really? THESE are the 50 best websites?

Full List - 50 Best Websites 2009 - TIME

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Michael Jackson Flunked His Credit Report

2009-08-28T06:51:00.001-07:00

Such a good feeling to know I have a better credit score than Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson Flunked His Credit Report

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MJ's Former Pharmacy -- What the DEA Seized

2009-08-28T06:13:00.001-07:00

MJ's Former Pharmacy -- What the DEA Seized

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nixontapes.org - Nixon Tapes and Transcripts

2009-08-28T04:01:00.001-07:00

nixontapes.org - Nixon Tapes and Transcripts

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Some of my favorite things including other blogs

2009-08-19T06:26:00.000-07:00

Today I had an awesome day since in a state office which I won't name. You know how it goes. Nobody wants to be there and they all look like a group of carnies. It's a waking nightmare. I amuse myself by giving strangers nick names and my scenario of their lives. Every woman there is pregnant or carrying a newborn but me. I feel like a reproductive failure. A mutant. Last December I had a miscarriage and caught the baby in my hand in the ER restroom. I was literally holding the amniotic sack and it was moving! The heart was still beating. I remember a primal scream but I didn't think it came from me. It was one of those times where you are standing outside yourself watching the events like a movie. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, "What is this?" I was totally devastated. I feel I should be over this by now but I'm not. I don't know if I ever will be over it.

For some reason total strangers always feel the need to tell me their life stories. The girl sitting next to me was of course pregnant. She was 23, her boyfriend is 30. Three kids by two other women and she is enduring a high risk pregnancy, cooking and cleaning and caring for his children. She tells me she had a miscarriage last year when she was 5 months pregnant. It was devastating. She went to the hospital for an ultrasound and after 30 minutes, the doctor tells her, "By the way, the baby isn't living." They do surgery to remove the "deteriorated fetus." She said it took her one year to get pregnant again. She tells me she thinks she only ovulates once a year in February. She says it took her an entire year to get pregnant again. She said she had sex 3 times a day everyday for a year. Definitely didn't need to know that.

Now her Egyptian boyfriend is telling her she's fat and unattractive. He's a keeper. I guess the look on my face signaled my sadness and or disgust for what she endured and she said, "I know, when I talk about my life out loud, I can't believe it turned out this way." The only thing that disgusted me was how her boyfriend talks to her. I said everybody feels that way. I said he's probably just worried you are too attractive for him and will leave him. When I saw you standing in line I thought how pretty you were and you are still skinny eight months pregnant. I wish I looked that good when I was pregnant. She seemed to really need some kind words and I was happy I could provide them.

Then she tells me she can't work due to the high risk pregnancy and was $2,000 from paying her car off. Her boyfriend refused to help her pay her car payment and it was repossessed. That was the detail that confirmed he's a total bastard in my book. She was rereading "To Kill a Mockingbird" so she wasn't a total dumbass. Then she tells me one of her bf's baby mama's is doing internet porn in her house with the kid there! She said we can't do anything because her mom is a cop. She only said she would make her stop doing it in her house. Joy! Good parenting. She's trying to wean this 3 year old from a bottle and potty train her.

I hope things work out for her but I'm not optimistic, I've outgrown optimism. Now I'm a realist. I know I've put up with far too much BS from men in my life. Womanhood is difficult even on the best of terms.

I love this blog. Check it out. Pithy: raise up off these N.U.T.s

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Movie Madness

What is the purpose of Facebook?

2009-08-16T03:08:00.000-07:00

I've been on Facebook and myspace for a while now and I'm bored with both of them. At first it's nice to find people you haven't seen in forever or old high school classmates. Then if you get into some debates about politics or religion you remember why you haven't keep in touch with some people. Some people never evolve. Some people devolve. I just told a friend yesterday that I'm going to stop posting intelligent comments because Republican zealots spend their time posting ignorant hate speech. My pal reminded me of the butterfly effect and said my voice of reason makes a difference. I seriously doubt it at this point.

It seems to me that people who have remained in their home towns have a narrower world view than those of us who have traveled and had other experiences. A lot of them seem to have a right wing racist mentality which is a huge disappointment. One would think that people would grow up after twenty plus years of living but I don't see it. I take joy in correcting their spelling and grammar mistakes. It infuriates them. They were and continue to be incapable of an intelligent argument in person and that translates into writing. They seem to think that poverty relates to laziness or bad morals.

One old class mate, Belinda Knoblock Turk is a total dumbass, racist and hypocrite. She mentioned Obama's race. Anytime you can't produce a rational argument you bring race into it and destroy any intelligent points you wanted to mention if you had any and she doesn't. This blathering idiot then says something about her pool boy being white, a citizen and buying his own health insurance. Like the rest of the lemmings, she needs to jump off a cliff.

I wonder if the facebook creator intended this type of racism and ignorance to be spread all over the Internet. Perhaps it's just a sociological experiment to gauge the attitudes of Americans. I'm not sure. All those virtual smiles, hugs, farms, Mafia Wars are all a huge waste of time.

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Movie Madness

Brad Pitt calls Angelina his

2009-08-13T11:41:00.001-07:00

Brad Pitt calls Angelina his "soul mate;" So why not marry her? - KTNV ABC,Channel 13,Las Vegas,Nevada,News,Weather,Sports,Entertainment,KTNV.com,Action News .:.

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Homeless living in tent city told to pack it up! So much for Vegas being a boom town!

2009-08-13T08:44:00.001-07:00

Homeless living in tent city told to pack it up

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Daddy Like!! - Gary Rabuzzi's MySpace Blog |

2009-08-13T08:42:00.001-07:00

Daddy Like!! - Gary Rabuzzi's MySpace Blog |

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Jackson Toxicology Report -- Propofol Plus ...

2009-08-09T02:11:00.001-07:00

As soon as I heard Michael Jackson was dead I literally said it was a drug overdose. It's sad that anyone gives their life over to drugs. Having a relation with these problems gives me a deeper understanding about the desperate acts of an addict. Drugs are bad people (in my best South Park imitation) Anyone who watched that show in 2003 should have realized he was a hard core drug addict. The segment where he's feeding blanket and shaking his legs with the junkie itch and twitching legs is a giveaway. What other person forces their children to wear masks and dangles them over balconies? Head on over to www.thesmokinggun.com to read court papers in the child molestation case. It's sickening and that ladies and gentlemen is what ended the fan portion of my Michael Jackson admiration. To me there is nothing worse than a pedophile. Experts say they can't be cured even when they are chemically castrated, they use objects to abuse children! Neverland was the ultimate kid magnet and when he paraded the kid who was a cancer patient around on that special it literally made me vomit. And what about Chris Tucker accompanying MJ on his private jet and plying children with "Jesus Juice"? Nobody called him on his behavior. No charges were filed against him. I'm done with him too.

The thing I find most interesting is that this is the same Dr. that was treating James Brown when he died. I'd like to learn more about that aspect of the case. In my opinion James Brown was more important in terms of musical history and strides for black performers. It's natural to assume that MJ didn't have much cultural pride. He transformed himself into a white Diana Ross. His children are all white and til the end he insisted they were his biological children when it's obvious they aren't. A parent doesn't have to be a biological parent and it's just bizarre that he would continue to insist they were his bio kids. That had to do with his trying to portray himself as a heterosexual. If you're ashamed of your sexuality then you are doing things you consider shameful. Besides that really wasn't anyone's business but his own except when he brought children to his bed. WRONG, WRONG AND WRONG!

Also, having seen both performers in concert multiple times, I was more in awe of James Brown in his 60's doing the splits than I was by MJ at any age. He peaked with Thriller and could never top it. His spending was out of control and that level of excess is disgusting when people in America and around the world are starving. He's the one who sang, "If you wanna make the world a better place look at yourself and make a change..." Sad that he didn't follow his own advice.

The doctor's office in Houston is in a neighborhood known for clinics for "pill doctors". These doctors don't really treat anyone. You takes your cash and you gets your pills after a mock exam.

Were 3 autopsies really necessary? Let me guess, the 3rd one will be released and it will say he died of natural causes at 50? That seems like a move to create a story so they can try to salvage his reputation and plant him at Neverland and sell tickets.

Giving the kids to their 79 year old grandmother is something that would NEVER transpire in any family court if money didn't change hands. It's not fair to the kids but then again has any part of their lives been fair? They were just live toys for him to play with! Nobody has reported anything about what type of education they have received. Noting his paranoia, I seriously don't he would allow them to leave home to attend school in a traditional setting. I also read that he was going to get them implanted with microchips like pets so he could track their location online! I hope that's not true.

I read somewhere that MJ was supporting his Mom but since his death she's been living on Social Security since he didn't provide any money for her to raise his children. She had to go to court to ask for money from the estate because his trustees who are an attorney and a music executive! The court delayed it's decision. If you can't trust them, who can you trust? It didn't matter to him. All that mattered for at least 25 years was drugs and that's sad.

The saddest thing to report is that's probably the best thing that could have happened to his kids. Now they can lead a somewhat normal life. Did you see where they went to Disneyland with their cousins WITHOUT security?! I guess they had to since he didn't leave money to provide for that or even for food, clothing or shelter.

Jackson Toxicology Report -- Propofol Plus ...

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Invitation to be an Amazon Friend

2009-08-08T00:06:00.001-07:00

Hi,

I'd like you to become my Amazon Friend.

Amazon Friends lets us create a list of our friends and family, and easily share our wish lists, reviews, and other personal information with each other.

Regards,
Dalaimama Dharma

To accept this invitation, please follow the link below and click on the Accept Invitation button:

View Invitation

Dalaimama Dharma <lisawalker69@gmail.com> requested that we send this e-mail. If you have questions about Amazon.com, please visit our Help Department

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The purpose of my blog

2009-08-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

The purpose of my blog is to illuminate people about everything. I'm generally considered a culture maven in most circles be they large or small. I'm your go to gal in just about any area. I have a wide base of knowledge and Facebook classifies me as a Grammar Nazi!

I was a newspaper reporter in high school and college, a yearbook editor, a feature writer and a top reviewer on sidewalk.com before it merged into citysearch.com and my witty reviews disappeared into cyberspace. I'm opinionated but I can back up my stance on an issue, product or business and hopefully spare someone else my agony in the process.

I'm on twitter, facebook, yelp, MySpace, yelp you name it, I'm on there bitching about something or someone who can and should do a better job. As you have surely guessed by now, I am a Type A personality but I have calmed considerably in the last few years.

I'm irked/peeved/pissed about bad drivers, corrupt city officials, dead beat dads and moms, baby mama drama, baby daddy drama, illiteracy, apathy, bad manners, poor taste, low morals and a list too long to mention. However, I can remark on these issues and many more with with, humor and style.

Join me on this ride to discuss the economy and all that it brings to the table. I may seem unfocused at times but that's just the ADHD keeping me moving on to the next big idea.

I hope you enjoy my observations and you are moved enough to comment. I'm trying to consolidate my old blogs here so please be patient.

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Gotta Love Twit Pics!

2009-08-07T18:53:00.000-07:00

I must admit that I Love Twit Pics due to the appeal of photos like the ones at the end of Rain Man! I wish everyone would do as I do and take pictures of interesting things during their daily lives. One must take joy in the little things and endeavor to persevere (Chief Dan George).

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Mistaking Kindness for Weakness

2009-08-07T02:24:00.000-07:00

Recently I have encountered may people who mistake kindness for weakness. This is a colossal mistake in judgment and brings to mind the statement, "Beware the fury of a patient man."

I understand how many cynical people populate this world but once in a while people, good people actually do things to be nice. When this happens rather than taking advantage you should pay it forward and do something nice for someone else. This would make the world a better place and what could be better than that?

Think about it.

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Lisa Marie Presley had twin girls in October 2008?

2009-08-01T23:39:00.000-07:00

I just read online TODAY that Lisa Marie Presley had twin girls on October 7, 2008! That one escaped me, probably because I was pregnant myself at the time and didn't know it. I was exhausted and hibernating like a bear in winter and didn't find out I was pregnant until October 23, 2008. We're roughly the same age and I also was thrilled to be gestating. However, due to my non-celebrity status, M.D.s were not concerned about my miscarriage risk and allowed me to have one.

I'm glad her daughters are healthy. Forty doesn't seem so old anymore.

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Modern Technology

2009-07-24T23:19:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking how much easier and invasive technology has become in the last 10 years. It's amazing to think how much one can do and view from a cell phone or computer that nobody ever thought possible in 1999. Back then we were all worried about the Y2K computer glitch that never happened.

Now kids are cyber stalking and bullying each other over the Internet. Aren't we advanced? Being a travel agent is no longer a viable option if you wish to pay your bills thanks to the Internet.

Some things are good in the name of progress but I can't think of any in my current state of mind. What is amazing to me is how low some people become due to this piss poor excuse for an economy.

Please someone sent me some good things to remind me why I've become a slave to my computer and cell phone.

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Twitter

2009-03-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

OK, I've been hearing stuff about Twitter for months so I just signed up. I'm trying to post my twitter updates here and it gives me an error message, I HATE THAT!

Britney Spears loses custody

2007-10-01T18:50:00.000-07:00

It's 2009 and we don't get to pity/mock Britney nearly as much these days. Michael Jackson's mysterious death (drug addiction and subsequent drug overdose) has overshadowed all important new all over the globe. I hope Brit is doing well on those mood stabilizer because she has tons of people to support. God Bless all the poor lost souls (celebrities) who choose to whore themselves for fame and cash.

I have to say from the day she got involved with Kevin Federline she started a downward spiral. He is a golddigger and grifter who planned this whole thing with Shar Jackson who was pregnant when he seduced Britney.

I feel sorry for her children who were mistakes. Now that they are here she needs to get her act together and be a mother before anything else. Kevin is not the better parent, he just successfully relieved her of millions of dollars. He's like a blackmailer who hit a goldmine by impregnating her.

I hope this is a wake up call for her to get clean and sober. She needs to leave CA and get well. I hope she doesn't harm herself because it would damage her kids even further. Having the father they do will only be a source of embarrassment.

You have to remember that Britney spent her entire life trying to be rich and famous. She needed a break and lowering herself to become entangled with Kevin was probably her first act of rebellion. How could her parents really prepare her for fame?

It's sad that she's the poster child for too much too fast. She's only 25 years old. She needs to learn independence. She's financially able.

Kevin would drop those kids like a hot potato if he didn't get any money to take care of them. He's a deadbeat dad who struck it rich. The dream of all deadbeat dads to find a woman to live off of and extort money from for the rest of his life.

He's just a leech and everyone around her is a leech. Too bad she didn't have the common sense to run the other way when she saw that reptile coming.

She should have stayed in Eric Clapton's rehab in Antigua instead of leaving after one day! Come on people, look at Judy Garland. You think Disney doesn't create drug addicts?

There is so much the public doesn't know or need to know about her life. I think the slams on her VMA performance are cruel. She had two babies back to back! She looks fantastic.

Obviously she's depressed and her life has been a train wreck since she met Kev. She also had post postpartum depression per Dr. Phil who apparently talked to her family or her.

Maybe this will be a wake up call for her and she will get her life together and rescue her kids from K-Fed.

Parenting is stressful and you must be sober to do so properly. I'm not making excuses for her.

I can't imagine being chased around by photographers every waking moment. I think she should have spared her kids from that circus.

I can understand her being upset with her people for getting her to go to rehab because that was an admission of addiction and cleared the path for Kevin to get her kids.

People w/o kids don't realize the laws give deadbeat dads rule over the mom's life until the kids are grown! Kevin has NO INCOME without Britney's Alimony and child support.

Has anyone checked where he's living? I'll bet a million dollars he's back living with Shar Jackson! I saw that washed up child actor because she's not a star by any means on tv last month talking about what a great Dad and person Federline happens to be!

Those kids are in for a life of misery.

Past Life Identity

2007-08-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

You could have been a famous Actor

Who Were You in a Past Life?

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Bewitching Intelligence

2007-08-17T19:40:00.001-07:00

Your Intelligence makes you bewitching

Are You Bewitching?

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Amazing Sense of Humor

2007-08-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

Your Sense of Humor makes you amazing

What Makes You Amazing?

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Aura Color

2007-08-17T19:23:00.000-07:00

You're a Blue!

How Bright Is Your Aura?

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Best Qualities

2007-08-17T19:11:00.000-07:00

You're a Creative!

What's Your Best Quality?

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5 Factor Personality Report

2007-08-17T19:10:00.001-07:00

You're a Inspirational!

The 5-Factor IPIP Personality Test

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UR True Sign

2007-08-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

You're a Scorpio!

What Zodiac Sign Should You Be?

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Birth Order

2007-08-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

You're a Middle child because of your social skills!

The Influence of Birth Order

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Look A Likes

2007-08-06T05:22:00.000-07:00

http://www.myheritage.com

Fw: Equal Pay? "No Way" says Supreme Court

2007-06-03T23:38:00.001-07:00

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: "Kim Gandy, NOW President" <nowpresident@now.org>
To: Lisa Walker <chinadolll2@yahoo.com>
Sent: Friday, June 1, 2007 9:01:39 PM
Subject: Equal Pay? "No Way" says Supreme Court


	Dear Lisa, This week the Supreme Court ruled that paying women less is just fine, as long as you don't get caught for 180 days. Instead of encouraging employers to root out and correct pay discrimination, the Roberts Court in Ledbetter v. Goodyear laid out a game plan for any employer who wants to pay women less and get away with it. They basically said, "It's okay, boys. Just keep it quiet for 180 days and you're home free." NOW is acting on two fronts against this outrageous ruling and your gift today will allow us to act quickly and decisively to reverse it. First, we must organize women all across the country to demand that Congress pass, and the president sign, legislation that will repair this damage to our hard-fought pay discrimination laws. Second, we must press the media to cover this issue seriously, so that women (and the men who care about fairness) understand the very damaging consequences of this decision to every working woman, and they, too, will take action. Several of our friends in Congress, including Sen. Ted Kennedy and Rep. Carolyn Maloney, are committed to introducing new legislation which will make it perfectly clear that pay discrimination is wrong and there must be remedies for those who have been harmed -- and they need our help on the ground, to get co-sponsors and round up votes in 435 congressional districts. We must demand that this bill be so clear that no Justice can misunderstand -- or pretend to misunderstand. Remember that Chief Justice Roberts characterized the idea of equal pay for women as a "radical redistributive concept." Please act now and make a generous contribution to help us spread the word, and to press forward on corrective legislation. Thank you for standing with us to support equality and fair treatment for women everywhere. For equality, Kim Gandy President, National Organization for Women

NOW Home | Edit Profile

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2006-10-13T22:14:00.000-07:00

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Personal Announcement from Lisa Walker

2006-09-20T17:49:00.000-07:00

Hi!

I've just made some updates to my profile on Reunion.com and wanted to share them with you!

View my Profile!

Here's what I updated:

My Personal Life Bio
My Children
My Dating Status

This site is a RIPOFF! They DOUBLE CHARGED ME then REFUSED to Refund my money! If this has happened to you too, contact the Better Business Bureau! Find me on Classmates.

— Lisa Walker

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Connect to Dalaimama on Yahoo! 360

2006-09-08T01:08:00.000-07:00

Connect to me on Yahoo! 360

From: F
, ,
(Latest blog entry on Fri Sep 08, 2006)

I've created my own place on Yahoo! 360 and I'd like you to connect to me so we can stay in touch. You can view my blog, my photos, my lists - and all sorts of things that matter to me. You can create a personal page and blog of your own, which will be linked to mine. That way you'll always know when I post something new.

Please stop by and leave comments to let me know you were here!

Click below to accept this invitation:
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Click below to view Dalaimama's page
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What is Yahoo! 360?

Possibly the most convenient and enjoyable way to stay in touch with
all the people you know.

-Your Personal Place Online
Start a blog. Share photos. List favorites or write a review.

-Share With Friends and Family
Invite your friends and family to view what you've shared and link
their pages to yours.

-You're In Control
Share as much as you want with whomever you want. You decide.

Note: Sent to hrhl2.dharma@blogger.com. This invite expires in 14 days.
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Life Lessons

2006-07-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

When I think back on my life, I've learned so much about life, myself and other people but the person I've learned the most from is my child.

Just when I had lost the sense of wonder about life and started to get jaded, I became a parent. I had to relearn to find joy in the little things. It's so sweet to watch a person learn everything. It puts you in tune with the circle of life and it brings a sense of peace along with all the sobering responsibility of parenthood.

There is not a person on Earth I'd rather be with than my child. This helpless infant has become a unique and amazing person who is adored everywhere and lights up a room. Everything else pales in comparison to this miracle.

I don't believe in Romantic Love anymore because it doesn't last. It's purely hormonal but the love between a Mother and child is unconditional and lifelong.

Please Vote for me in Monique's F.A.T. (Fabulous and Thick) Chance Contest

2006-05-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

Please log on to: www.dalaimama.monique.blip.tv and give me a 5 rating. Winning this contest would change my life in more positive ways than you can imagine.This is the personal page I created for the contest. This contest involves loving oneself despite being a large woman and inspiring other women to do the same. I'll try to include my photo in this post if I can figure out how to do it properly. You can read what I wrote below. Please let me know if you went to the website and voted for me. Let me know what you think about this post.

Why should people vote for you to be the winner of the Users' Choice Awards?

My friends would describe me as a true original. A mix of Janis Joplin, Ginger and Mary Ann, Carrie and Samantha, June Clever and Sally from 3rd Rock. Never a dull moment but like solitude as well sometimes. Always the first one my friends call when they want to do something new and unusual. I guess you could say "The Road Not Taken" has been a long and winding road thus far but a good one.

I used to be too skinny and felt like a little girl. Going braless then was an option. Motherhood changed all that and now I feel like a beautiful, voluptuous goddess! I feel like a natural woman. I've been all the sizes of the rainbow from 0 to my current size 18. I've never felt more comfortable in my own skin than I do right now. For me, the important thing is being healthy and loving yourself and you can do that at any size. You should never be ashamed or embarrassed about your size. I never miss going to the beach or on vacation because I'm self-conscious about my weight. Afterall, like my age, it's ONLY a number! It's like that song "Video" by India Arie, I've learned to love myself unconditionally because I am a Queen!

I'm a single mom in the south and all that it entails. I'm too busy sometimes but I find joy all around me. I no longer run away from anyone wielding a camera in my direction. I'm a shutterbug and my friends and family all suffer from flashburn. I would hate to look back twenty years from now and be totally absent from all our photoalbums and home movies because I didn't want my picture taken.

My only concern was that men would no longer find me attractive. God Bless the Chubby Chasers because I have more dates now than when I weighted 105! I've been told that when you feel good about yourself you exude confidence and sex appeal. Just remember Ladies that the average American Woman is a size 14. Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell were size 14 Goddesses! The world would be a boring place if we were all stick figures. Being happy whether you're thick or thin is simply a matter of perception.

Becoming a larger woman made me less judgmental and an all around nicer person. I no longer believe happiness results from being a size 5. When I was a size 3 and 5, I had a boyfriend telling me how fat and disgusting I was! I had a complex about my weight as a result for years but I broke those chains to become the woman I am today. If I can do it anyone can! I still have my Calgon Moments but they are never caused by worrying about my weight.

Calgon Moments

America Held Hostage by Illegals

2006-05-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine sent me this email and I totally agree with her. Pass it on while we still have a country! I cut my own grass and take care of my own kid so I have no use for Illegals.

today is Monday and as US citizens we are all being called upon to do our part. The illegal immigrants are boycotting the United States of America by not going to work, not sending their children to school and not shopping today. (SEE DETAIL BELOW) Their plan is to blackmail our government into dropping their support of the current Immigration Reform Bill. If by any chance you attempted to shop at a grocery store this past weekend - you would have noticed that the illegal immigrants are taking this boycott seriously.

There was even a segment on the local news last night that showed them stocking up for today. The news showed them getting their RED shirts ready to wear today. They also showed that some of the Mexican owned and operated restaurants were planning on closing today. And some were only planning on being open for one or two meals but closing for evening meals (our local news showed Taqueria Arandas specifically).

I say we boycott any restaurant that closes today by not purchasing or eating there for the rest of the week (or forever). Also, I encourage you to drop an email youÂre your state rep demanding that any person that took today off in order to participate in this boycott be legally fired with no repercussions to the employer. How dare anyone come into this country and take a job where they are being paid wages but don't have to pay taxes take the day off to boycott our US laws.

And I think tomorrow and this following week we all ought to send a second email to our state rep and our local council members telling them how nice it was to go out on the highways on Monday and not be hindered by a bunch of illegal immigrants who can't read or understand our road signage - how easy our commutes were on this day. And that our children came home from school saying it was a great day because there were no interruptions while teachers had to repeat their lessons in another language. And that while we were out shopping and dining it was nice not to be berated by the sound of illegal immigrants speaking talking babbling a foreign language and slowing down the process by hindering ENGLISH speaking waiters and store clerks trying to communicate with them. That in general, we miss the peace and freedoms we used to have before we started allowing illegal immigrants to infiltrate every aspect of our lives and then take those liberties for granted. I would like for each of us to assure our government that we strongly agree with Immigration Reform and will stand behind the changes that are being proposed - as long as the changes are staunch enough to make a difference.

It will only take you a few seconds to go online and find the email address of your representative and drop them a few lines. You take more time reading the jokes we all forward to each other. The thing is that the few minutes and effort it will take, will be returned to us ten-fold if we get the Immigration Reform that our country so direly needs. Remember that we still outnumber illegal immigrants in our power to vote - it is your voice - use it!

Remember that they are wearing RED to show their support of the boycott - do not wear RED today but instead where BLUE or you favorite PATRIOTIC shirt!

I am heading out - I am filling up a pickup, two motorcycles, two 18 wheelers and 4 5-gallon gas cans; then I'm heading to out to lunch; after that I am going to purchase a large item for my niece who is expecting a baby; after that I am going to my grocery store to pick up a few items that I'm low on - doesn't hurt to stock up so why not do it today; and this evening my husband and I are going out to dinner and a movie. Doesn't seem like much but if 75 % of American citizens do the same it will make up for the lack of illegal immigrants spending.

PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE !

Illegal immigrants are planning a nationwide boycott of all goods and services on Monday, May 1st. They have marched in our streets and demanded rights as a reward for breaking our country's law. They hope to show that they have an impact on our economy, they hope to hurt American business, they hope to emotionally and economically blackmail us into submission.

So what can we do? All Americans who support LEGAL immigration but demand that all immigrants RESPECT our law are asked to act on May 1st. Wear RED or BLUE that day (They will be wearing white), and go SHOPPING.

If you have to grocery shop, make it May 1st. Need gas in your car? Fill it up May 1st (Bring lots of cash). Buy Mother's Day gifts, buy summer clothes, buy that new car you've been thinking about, whatever you need, but BUY THAT DAY. American citizens outnumber illegal immigrants, and we MUST make ourselves heard. Wear red or blue to show your pride in your country, and your opposition to weak border and amnesty legislation. And GO SHOPPING!

Let's make May 1st a day to remember, and remind Congress that the illegal immigrants they cower before can't vote. We can. And we will. The First of May is Shopping Day!

To read more on what the Illegal Immigrants plan to do on May 1st, go to http://www.immigrantsolidarity.org/.

The Hollisters

2006-04-30T19:23:00.000-07:00

As the offical local music maven of Houston, Texas I can honestly report the few bands who are talented and have a shot at success on a national level. I'm not going to sugar coat it and lie about what a great scene we have here, that's what The Houston Press is for! I honestly believe their music guy gets groupie cast offs to report favorably on so many amateur bands. That must be it. I know many of them and they either shack up with girlfriends or live with their parents so they're not paying him in cash!

Any band with potential moves from Houston to Austin. Naturally, the Hollisters are now based in Austin.The best band from Houston is by far The Hollisters. I've been an avid fan since 1995. Mike Barfield has a distinctive voice that will haunt you. I've taken tons of people to see them. The standard question I ALWAYS hear after the show is, "Why aren't these guys famous yet?"

I would say more but you really have to experience this band live to understand their unique talents. If you make it out to the show, tell 'em Lisa sent you.

The original members are playing a show at the Continental Club on Main. Check out the schedule at: www.continentalclub.com.

Visit the Hollisters website: www.hollisters.com. You can buy their CD's on the site as well. I can also inform you that Mike Barfield's Solo CD is a keeper.

Cool Fuels on the Science Channel

2006-04-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

It's not easy trying to live green in Houston, TX. I've always been into recycling and environmental issues which has sometimes been a great irritant to my minion. Earth Day is always a reminder of how much change this behemoth of a city needs to make. Anything's possible, right?

I was delighted to find the show Cool Fuels on the science channel today. An Aussie travels across the USA using different kinds of fuel WITHOUT USING GASOLINE! It was realistic and possible and I was glad to watch it with my child. The fuels used were biodiesel, solar, wind, electricity and micro hydro.

The RV they traveled cross country in was powered by biodiesel, solar and electricity. They also had a motorcycle which was electric, a convertible car and an electric bike.

Now I wish I had taken notes because it had some great information in it. I'll try to catch it again and post more accurate information.

Calgon Moments

2006-04-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

Calgon Moments

Let me know what triggers a Calgon Moment for you and how you deal with it! Inquiring minds want to know!

Letting Yourself GO

2006-04-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

The last couple of years have been HORRIBLE! "Jacob's Ladder" variety horrible. The kind that makes you wonder who you screwed over in a past life to deserve this kind of misery. Misery does indeed love company so read on my Lovelies!

My odyssey of suffering began back in 2000 when some hillbilly at work began harassing me. I have come to ignore a lot of stupidity being an attractive female trying to support my son but this inbreeder was off the charts! He was the physical equivalent to the rapist in Deliverance. I want to take a shower just thinking of him. It literally makes me cringe. After months of polite refusals, this guy decided to show me the money! Yuk! I had no choice but to call HR who promptly fired him then turned around and fired me. I couldn't find a job ANYWHERE for over three long years. Independence was a great source of pride for me.

I learned about myself and the world around me during that time. The one good thing that came out of it was being able to spend more time with my child. I learned that money didn't make me happy but I had problems providing the basics at times. It was either feast for famine.

I'm the middle child so naturally in my family I became the glue to held the group together. Any time someone needed advice I was the go to girl. I was the only one who had it together when everything and everyone was falling apart. The problem was that I was taken for granted. When I needed help there were only tumbleweeds to keep me happy in the ghost town of my realm.

I was the one who took everyone to the hospital and stayed with them no matter the cost to me for 4 long months. I stayed in the hospital with my brother when he nearly died from Osteomyelitis. This involved hours on end of screaming on his part and my reminding nurses to bring his medication on time. I had more than my share of Aurora Greenway moments (Give my Brother the shot!). He was only 41 at the time and they were asking me to choose a Hospice so you can imagine the toll that takes on your psyche. His "wife" refused to visit him and only called him on the phone to inform him she would put him in a nursing home if he survived. Then she tried to attack me in the hospital and ripped his IV out of his arm! Dr.s told me it was a miracle he's alive and able to walk. He went back home to the succubus. Now he's not allowed to talk to me.

While he was in the hospital, my younger brother fell off a skateboard and fractured his skull. My son called me and told me that I needed to come over because he had blood shooting out of his head and ear. I called 911 and watched the EMT's panic because they couldn't stop the bleeding. I insisted the call a chopper to take him to a trauma unit since sitting in rush hour traffic would have meant his death. He's permanently deaf in one ear, can't smell or taste and can't remember much or learn new information. He refused my help to get him SSI so that my Mother wouldn't have to support him indefinitely.

After these and more mindbending events, I find myself obese! I never had a problem before. In December 2005, I fell in a friend's driveway and broke my right arm, including my elbow because she neglected to shovel snow from her driveway. She's an RN and refused to take me to the hospital. Two days later her boyfriend drove me to the airport and they pretended nothing happened! She refused to give me her homeowner's information! I couldn't drive myself home from the airport. Now her boyfriend, my best friend for 10 years doesn't speak to me. He doesn't understand why I'm upset. Whatever! I couldn't do anything for myself for 4 months! I was stuck at home with no help. Evidently that caused a major weight gain.

Every waking moment is a Calgon Moment! It's a waking nightmare. Don't get me wrong, I've got a great sense of humor and I have to laugh or I'll cry but enough is enough. I've come to the point where I've just told everyone to leave me alone and take on their own problems but is that enough?

A Matter of Perception

2006-04-10T02:35:00.000-07:00

I came across this. Read it in addition, my post is at the end.

"Real World" Training
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Tuesday we took a break and had lunch in the park. It was a quiet afternoon. Most of the younger children were down for their naps and the "school age' children were, well, in school. We had the park to ourselves. It was fun to just sit and eat our Jimmy John's and play catch.

As we were sitting there on a bench a car pulled up with two teenage kids inside. My husband remarked that it was time to go since the local high school had just let out and this park typically fills with rowdy teens looking for something to do.

The young gal lifted a baby out of the back seat and for a moment we both thought they might be young couple taking their newborn out for a little fresh air. Before too long, it became obvious that the baby wasn't real. I realized this was probably part of the mommy training the high school provides to show teenage girls the reality of mothering. They wandered over to the fountain where my two teenage boys were standing with their little baby sister, Elaina. After a few moments the "mommy" set the "baby" on the ledge near the fountain. She then started talking to her boyfriend, ignoring the doll. My son, on the other hand, had a a tight grip on his little "baby doll" making sure that she didn't fall into the fountain or fall off the ledge.

Now, I ask you, which student was getting the experience and training necessary to prepare them for parenting in the real world? Before you answer my son, think about it. It really depends on your worldview.

If you believe that children are a blessing from God then you would proabably answer my son. If you believe that children are a burden meant to be cast aside when they become inconvenient then you would say the high school girl. Each adolescent is being trained to believe something about children according to the truth that accompanies the training.

My sons are being trained to become fathers who will one day parent their children with the truth that children are a blessing from God. After chatting briefly with the young lady it became obvious that she viewed children as a pain and that the whole idea of become a mother was undesirable. Sadly, that's the prevailing attitude in the "real world" and this young lady is being trained to fit right in.

My Response: I was public school educated and had to carry an egg. I homeschool my son. I didn't think the school was teaching me that children were a burden. My family taught me that. There were 5 children in my family and my parents had a volatile marriage for over 35 years before divorcing. My Mother is a devout christian and forced us to go to church several times a week. Going to church does not a christian make.

Carrying around an egg just reminded me of the responsibility of parenthood. Not that I needed to be reminded. I have a brother 9 years younger than me who I had to help take care of since the day he was born. He's 27 now and I'm still taking care of him.

While I never envisioned having children of my own, my child has been the greatest blessing in my life. I make sure he is raised in a loving and stable environment. My family was a cautionary example for me. Going through that experience taught me what not to do as a parent.

I think the public school system is just trying to show potential teenage mothers that the prospect of singleparenthood will alter their future.

I became a singleparent at age 27. I doubt I'll ever get married. While some parts of society place a stigma on singleparents which is just another form of prejudice, I think how much I would have lost if I conformed to societal expectations because I wasn't married.

I had married parents and an unhappy childhood. My child has one devoted parent who makes him the first priority. I'm teaching him the value of self-reliance while my parents just warehoused me for 18 years.

I do agree that public schools are a large factory with their own agenda but children are still profoundly influenced by their parent's attitude toward parenting.

When a child grows up in a loving environment they have a different take on parenthood.
Lisa | Homepage | 04.10.06 - 5:37 am | #

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Calgon Moments

2006-04-10T01:51:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those Calgon Moments? Calgon, take me away... We all have them. Unfortunately lately I seem to be stuck in a persistent vegetative state and I don't mean Texas. Although many parts could pass. People here seem to be getting more ignert, the ones that actually speak English.

Perhaps it's simply a rut or early midlife crisis manifesting itself. I've already traded in all the BS and yet still haven't found my bliss. At some point in life we all wake up, look around and wonder WTF is going on and how did it all come to this? Lately I can't seem to find the humor in it.

I feel like Elvis before that last tour - fat, bloated and sick. Certainly there are people in a worse funk but who cares, I'm worried about me. I realize it's ADD but that makes me special, right? I don't ride the short bus but lately I feel I'm pushing it!

It's already at least 85 here everyday. Can't wait for the mosquitos and hurricanes to let me know it's summer.

I need a good laugh, maybe I'll check out the comedy clubs on amateur night.

Check out my other blogs: www.homeschoolblogger.com/Dalaimama, http://360.yahoo.com/chinadolll2, http://spaces.msn.com/RantingRequired

Benzene in colas! Yes, BENZENE!

2006-04-10T01:48:00.000-07:00

I'm SO thrilled to learn that there is Benzene in all colas/sodas (depending on your vernacular) from a news website. I knew the good people at coca-cola had me hooked from age 8. I've been dealing with the loss of tooth enamel, calcium leached from my bones, addiction to caffeine and obestiy but BENZENE! I guess I can get on that class action suit and pray for $20 when I develop AML! You Bastards! You won't see this on the news but google it before Herr President censors it. That's tasty.

Amnesty for Illegals Again?

2006-04-06T23:30:00.000-07:00

There are so many wonderful and horrible things going on the world now that it's difficult to pinpoint a starting point. I suppose that was the purpose for naming this particular blog, Calgon Moments. Because there are so many of them now.

My life is as busy and hectic as anyone else's. I know what's going on in the world is not reflected on TV in the news or represented in movies and television shows. The world can't handle the truth!

If I'm Not bitching, check my pulse! I can't believe I had to endure illegal aliens marching for their rights on TV. Come on, that was the perfect opportunity to deport them! I live in a border state so I'm constantly bombarded with Spanish speaking illegals trying to communicate with me in Spanish. The local school doesn't even print out forms or letters in English anymore. I have no problem with LEGAL IMMIGRANTS who come here and learn the language and assimilate into our society. When I walk out my front door and see an Illegal peddling his little sno-cone/taco stand down my street while he screams in Spanish, I get pissed. Then I flip over to the job section of the newspaper and see that now I can't get a job if I don't speak Spanish!

Before you go spouting off that we're all immigrants, save it. I'm of Native American Ancestry so you killed my ancestors and stole our country, NOT FROM MEXICANS BUT FROM NATIVE AMERICAN INDIANS.

Amnesty didn't work in 1986 and it's not going to work now. Between the corporate whoredom of our socalled representatives and the illegal aliens, American Citizens are screwed, blued and tattooed.

The law that allowed Illegal Alien children to get a FREE education should be repealed. The law that allows illegals to have a child here and stay here should be changed.

Check out how New Zealand and other countries have changed their citizenship status. In fact, check out how Mexico deals with Illegal Aliens. Talk about hypocrites!

Calgon Moments

Is Your Husband Cheating? 4 Ways to Tell if He’s Lying

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What is a Healthy Relationship? 5 Signs of Real Love

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Hippie liberal Momma: I Don't Want To Live On This Planet Anymore

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Co-Dependence and passive aggressive behavior AKA marriage

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Cautiously optimistic

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Technology Overload

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R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

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Hippie liberal Momma: Ron Paul's Brain Is a Dirty Diaper

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Hippie liberal Momma: TX New Sonogram Bill

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Hippie liberal Momma: Boobies through time!

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Hippie liberal Momma: Woman removed from history or San Jacinto day.

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Hippie liberal Momma: Before You Talk About Old White Men

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Hippie liberal Momma: The great Vagina

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Hippie liberal Momma: Go the fuck to sleep

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1 year

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Ludic Despair: Go Charlie(s) Go!

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Ludic Despair: Panic Barbie

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Pilot Varsity Pens and other fetishes

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Mason finally gets a sibling!

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Boy tames goat!

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Newborn News

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Delivery Day is here!

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36 weeks pregnant

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Flickr

Flickr

Chaos at a breakneck pace

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All knocked up and no doctor to go to!

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Slide show

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