Co-Dependence and passive aggressive behavior AKA marriage

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I held out a LONG time before getting married and never actually planned to do it. For a woman, 40 is a long time to wait and most people think you're a lesbian, a crazy cat lady or clinically insane if you aren't married before 25. To those who think that, I bid you a fond fuck you! 

I've always been independent not only because it's in my nature but because depending on others always leaves me disappointed and livid which leads me to telling someone exactly what I think of them and NOBODY can handle the truth. Brutal honesty is not a policy, it's a personality trait. I'm the most loyal and dependable friend you will ever have if you earn my friendship. I expect the same in kind. Bring your "A" game or go home. Thus, another reason for my self-imposed singularity. As all women know, men are all equally worthless. Sure, some of them are tolerable but we don't NEED them. They are going the way of the 8 track and they don't even realize it.  

Growing up I never saw ONE happy, successful marriage. Now that I'm an adult, I still haven't seen one and I'm definitely not in one. I'm not at fault in my own. For once, I can honestly say I have done everything humanly possible to get along with an insane person. When someone abuses you physically, mentally and emotionally there's no hope of success. 

Yes, there's a difference between mental and emotional abuse. There's the mind fuck, a classic and sometimes effective tactic. Then there's toying with one's emotions (if only you did _______, I would love you more, etc.). 

Luckily, my parents were the two most ill matched co-dependent crazy people in existence so much of this doesn't phase me and I'm able to function. 

However, when your "partner" is constantly sabotaging your livelihood and finances, it's impossible to even keep your children in a safe environment then it's time to come up with an escape strategy. 

Abusers work by isolation. Don't ever forget that you have options. You don't have to live your life in fear or shame. It's NOT YOU, it's HIM! He is a coward and controls through fear and intimidation. Secrecy is his power. Let someone know what is going on in case something happens to you. Keep a hidden journal in a safety deposit box or a secret blog.

I mostly write these musings for myself to remember events or document events because my sister stole all my journals which I started as a child to pass onto my children. I thought this may be a way to save some new things for them. 

If this helps anyone out there in cyber land, even better.  Hang in there ladies, don't lose hope and don't lose yourself! You are loved! You have to love yourself first! You know that. Don't let some loser beat you down!













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