Sunday, September 18, 2011

Cautiously optimistic

    All that optimism was wasted. The baby died. I had to have life saving surgery. It was horrible. Each time times happens a part of me dies.
On 9/13/11 at approximately 5:33 p.m., I stared into the results window of a positive pregnancy test in disbelief. Both lines were dark purple after 1 drop! I had a passing thought that I may be pregnant after being unreasonably angry for a few weeks but perished the thought since I wasn't trying to get pregnant and I've had  a difficult time getting pregnant then staying pregnant.  I've had 2 high risk pregnancies and 2 miscarriages in the last couple of years, I'm over 40 and had gestational diabetes last time. My first thought was can my body handle this again so soon, I have a 13 month old daughter. Then I worried about the health of this baby, finances and everything imaginable. I had just been discussing going back to work. Our family is looking for a new home and I'm busy with a toddler and a teenager. I don't mean to seem ungrateful, after all I've been through, I really feel like babies are a gift and I love my children with all my heart.

I'm not making any plans just yet because I don't know how this will turn out. Going to the Dr. tomorrow for some blood work to see if this pregnancy is progressing properly. Hopefully, my first official doctor appointment will be on October 3. My due date is on my birthday which is interesting since I already share my birthday with my sister and we no longer have a relationship due to her evil ways. I have no preference on the sex of this baby, I just hope it's healthy.









follow me on Twitter

    follow me on Twitter
    Movie Madness

    No comments:

    Popular Posts